It’s hard out there for a person, any person really to makes friends. For example, I’m not one to make friends very easily, because I don’t really trust anybody at all, but slowly, I’ll let my guard down and welcome them into my world. However, when that friend turns out to be the opposite of what you thought they were, then you end up looking like a fool and a failure. Failure because you let this person in your exclusive world and shared thing with them only to find out later, that they thought it was more than just a friendship, which to me is all I have ever thought it was going to be. I also feel like a damn fool for believe that someone you became close with, was actually a savage in sheep clothing. Maybe I blame myself for extending my friend beyond what; I thought it would be. However, how are you supposed to know when to have boundaries, with a person you’ve thought was a brother? I guess, I’ll never really know the cause of this crash and burn of a relationship, but now all I can go is let it be and see how it turns out, because that’s the only thing to do and you can’t over think it or it will eat you alive. Trust me when I say it will, because I am true testimony to what is it to over things to the point of no return. Then when you wake up and realized what you have done, the damage has be done and you can do nothing but just let it be. Give it sometime; give it some space, not just for that person but for yourself as well.
I need to start a new with my whole bullshit of a situation, which in the light of day makes total sense to me now. I’ve basically wasted my time with someone, who doesn’t really and never really deserved me. I’ve wasted my time, energy, minutes and cell data on an asshole, who never really wanted anything to do with me in the first place. Now, this “relationship” was not about love because it was never about that…yet, however when you speak to someone about what you both want in life. You would think that it would lead to that, instead of it leading to an empty road and you’re I’m in the middle of it lost and confused, and basically waiting for a car to hit me. So, when it does collide into me fast and hard, it’ll stop making me feel this way ever again! It might take a couple of emotionally showers, before this can all be washed away, but I’ll get there and when I do there will be no track of this person ever again!
Let’s talk about fashion for a bit, because it’s seemed that lately I’ve to dome and gloom to do anything or talk about else. So a couple weeks ago, I picked out this top for H&M, as just a plan b because at first I didn’t like it. 1. I hate cats with a passion, 2. I didn’t think that it would go with the concept I was going for and 3. I mean it’s cats for Christ Sake! However, after giving it a second and third look, I told myself just use it and see what can happen. I’m so glad that I listened to my intuition and just went with it, because I’m a big fan of kitsch just not cats. However, my friend and model Val, worked it and we both were happy with the results!
While I would like to sit here and get all, negative about adulthood and all the bullshit that comes with it, I’m 99% happy that I don’t have to be a shaver again. Sure, when you’re a kid you don’t have the responsibilities that grown-ups have, among them money problems and bills up the ass (No money, More Problems). While going back to my youth would sound like amazing ride in time, I really wouldn’t want to go back there (Well maybe for like a day, to tweak a couple of things here and there!). However, while the dream of reliving your childhood may sound bomb in reality it really isn’t. Kids these days have to deal with so much and even more than an adult does, so let just keep the past in the past and just move forward to the present. I’m semi-grateful that I made it through my adolescent, with just some scratches and buries here and there, whoever for the Snapchat generation. It’s will take more than just surviving there youth to get out alive. Life nowadays is hard for anyone at any age, but more for children these days. Moreover, while they shouldn’t be thinking about it too much and just enjoy the short life span that is there childhood. They can’t help but to look over their shoulders, ready to face anything that comes there way.
Summer will be gone soon and all I can say is thank god for that! I never was a big fan of the summer or the heat that came with it, it over stayed it’s welcome after July ended. Fall will be here soon and while everyone is more obsessed with all the pumpkin flavored junk, that they will be consuming (Including me!). I’m more happy because to me it means, the beginning of the end of what summer brought, and mostly I’m just excited to wear my fall best. So, while I’ll be stuffing my face with some of those pumpkin flavored Oreo’s, at least I’ll be enjoying a row of those with, while wearing my new bomber jacket and some newly brought Timberland’s, that I can’t wait to take out the box! Here’s the fall and all that will bring with it!