It’s hard out there for a person, any person really to makes friends. For example, I’m not one to make friends very easily, because I don’t really trust anybody at all, but slowly, I’ll let my guard down and welcome them into my world. However, when that friend turns out to be the opposite of what you thought they were, then you end up looking like a fool and a failure. Failure because you let this person in your exclusive world and shared thing with them only to find out later, that they thought it was more than just a friendship, which to me is all I have ever thought it was going to be. I also feel like a damn fool for believe that someone you became close with, was actually a savage in sheep clothing. Maybe I blame myself for extending my friend beyond what; I thought it would be. However, how are you supposed to know when to have boundaries, with a person you’ve thought was a brother? I guess, I’ll never really know the cause of this crash and burn of a relationship, but now all I can go is let it be and see how it turns out, because that’s the only thing to do and you can’t over think it or it will eat you alive. Trust me when I say it will, because I am true testimony to what is it to over things to the point of no return. Then when you wake up and realized what you have done, the damage has be done and you can do nothing but just let it be. Give it sometime; give it some space, not just for that person but for yourself as well.
My mom was always the mother and father figure when I was growing up. Sure, the man who calls himself my father was there also from time to time. Well, when he wasn’t on one of, he’s drunken sprees, with one of many thots; he liked to pick up on the way to the bars. However, I never saw him much and if I did, it was never a pretty picture for my mother, sister or me (Nor my face or limps). So, what does a woman do when she has a piece of shit for a husband, who takes all of her money and leaves her with two assholes for kids? Well, just like any strong woman would do, you pick yourself up and go on with your life, like it or not. Sure, we had some very hard times along the way. However, I don’t regret not having a father figure there because that what my mom was. Even if I hated it from time to time, I appreciate it now more than ever because without her or anything single mother out there to teacher you, that whatever roles they may play in your life. You should always respect them for basically giving up the role, that society brainwashes them to act upon, and take things into their own hands. There’s never a book or a blue print for when life gives you a shitty excuse for a husband, so it just best to make you own and see where it goes. Chances are those are the best kind of lesson you can give yourself and your kids.