The last time, I remember having my family all together was a couple a months ago, and while I know we’ll all be together again soon. I feel there’s always something in the way of that happening. Even though, I know they are close by, it’s still not the same. I miss those loud afternoon of nothing were you know, that you had your whole family in one roof, which just felt right and safe. However, with all the shit that we’ve been through these past couple of month, I really don’t know when we will all be back together again. They are the missing pieces to my puzzle and without them; I’m just a bunch of pieces laid out on the table. Therefore, while I know this is just a small setback, this feeling of completion cannot come soon enough. However, until then, I will just have the memories of what was once happier time, and pray for happier times to come.
I’m in a lonely rut, I feel like no matter what I do, no matter what I’ll have or accomplish. I’ll will not be content with my life at all. Maybe, I’m just getting the mighty mighty blues because of this cold weather, that we’ve been getting lately or maybe I’m being super dramatic like always. However, in the light of the cloudy day, I feel like there’s nothing more that I can do to make myself happy or even fulfilled with what I have. I wonder how can people fake being happy for so long, but I can’t fake it because I was never really happy to begin with.