Despite my circumstances, there’s nothing more I like more, then having a day with my favorite model/friend Natalie! She gives me hope that, I’m bigger than my problems give me credit for! I had the best day and I totally forgot my bullshit hard knocks, and reminded me, that should just continue with what I like. There should be more friends like here and I’m glad she’s one of them!
In the mist of losing 80 pounds or so (and counting), I’ve kind of enjoyed and hated the benefits, that come with a semi-new body. The rewards of course, are having a new wardrobe, which I don’t have to buy at the ugly big and tall section, which is just a slim to none selection, in a very hidden area in a store, where menswear goes to die. The cons of having this lose skin corpse is just that, even though the weight has been melting away faster then the wicked witch of the west. I still feel like the same old me, I mean I get looked differently and not in a ewww kind of way, more like” I would fuck that”! However, I envy those with the nice bodies who can flaunt what there mamma gave them, with no shame in there game. Sure, I’ve been going to the gym, eating somewhat properly and whatnot, but god it’s just so much just to mold this body into something worth showing off too. Of course, not to show off to the world at large but to myself and to be happy with what’ve I got. Basically I want to look good naked! Is that so much to ask, but I guess it is when all I’m doing is just talking about it, instead of actually doing something about it. Time will tell if I can look at myself in the nude, without looking at my once 80lb extra self!