I sometimes, well all the time see things very differently than others. I guess I was born this way, where while others see the same shit, I see things in a different light. It’s not only that, I guess, it’s just my mind, eyes, brain and body. It’s as if my mind is the gatekeeper of all this weird and beautiful images and the only one that can see these pictures is I. This is probably why I love taking pictures, because it gives others a chance to see, what in my head. Well, not all that’s in there but just a glimpse of the world, that I share with whomever looks at this sad little blog.
Inside my head, I have a world where I usually live in when I’m not living in the hell that is reality. I usually, get carried away in there and most of the time, I just get stuck there for hours, without realizing it. Maybe, I do realize this motion because, if I were slapped back into the real world, I would do anything to go back to that world in my head. Sure, not everything on top of there is all wonder-like and fun! Sometimes, it takes me into dark places or places were I’m not sure what to think anymore. Which sometimes fuck with my real universe and when the two worlds collide, it’s not a fun place to be in. Anytime, that happens, I try to find another shelter or world to move into, but there’s no place to hide really. So, I just have to face the two worlds head on, like an iceberg feeling of cold water, hitting me back into the world, I’ve come to enjoy and hate, and at the same time sending the land in my head back where it came from; to its rightful place!
I really don’t know how to describe this feeling but whatever it is, I don’t want it to go away. I feel like a whole new person , so much so that I can’t recognized myself in the process of this happiness, that I have inside of my dark being. I don’t know how to go about this feeling, but I really don’t care. I just want to leave it the way it is and see where it takes me. I’m afraid if I’m too happy or content with these unexpected feelings, that it will go away and I’ll go back to my old self. Which I don’t wanna go back to! I mean, I’m still myself but will a better attitude about things, which is frighten to admit to myself and to people, who know me a certain way. However, at this point I don’t give a fuck, because I’ve been waiting so long for this and I’ll be damn if I just lose it now!