I sometimes feel numb to the reality that surrounds me, it not that I don’t have normal feelings of a human being. However, it’s just easier to turn them off and just feel nothing at all. It’s a defect mechanism, which worked wonders for me for many years. It’s simply tranquil effect that helps me in my day-to-day life. My current environment is chaotic enough, that I don’t want to face to reality that is this existence most of the time. Sure, I can easily turn it on and off just like, but what’s the point of facing the loud noise, when all you want to do is just shout it all off. Simply being not there is the greatest feeling in the world, for the most part. However, this isn’t a way to live forever but it sure does work for the meantime.