Feeling A Bit Melancholy

12-26-10 013Tomorrow will be April 8th. To most people it’s just a regular, boring day. However, to me it won’t be (Well depending on how the day goes). Tomorrow will be my birthday and I will be turning 31 years old. Yes, I said it! I’ve been on this planet for 31 years and to tell you to truth. I really have nothing to show for it. As sad as that sound, it’s the absolute truth. While some have fulfilled their life’s goals, by the time there 25 or even young. I still haven’t found the pieces of the puzzle, to put my so-called-life together. Maybe I’m being dramatic (Some people would agree), but this is the way I’m feeling these days. As the days, turn into months and into years. I still haven’t gotten my shit together. I thought by 21, I would have some things figured out. Nevertheless, that’s not the case. I’ve had some miss-steps along the way. Fell on my face hard, but got back up again. Not because I wanted to either. I would’ve loved to just lay there and rot, but I’m not a quitter. So I got my ass up from those humiliating falls. Dust myself off and moved on. Like it or not!
Sure some people my age. Don’t really have their shit together. Fuck! I know some people who are much older than I am, and they still don’t, have their shit figured out. Sometimes I tell myself “What’s it all about really”? Life is hard! Harder than trying to figure out the plot to Mulholland Drive (I still don’t get it. No matter how many times I’ve watched it). I could just sit here and write about how spectacular I am. And how awesome life has turn out for me. Still, I would be lying to myself and to whoever read’s this. Like i said. Life isn’t easy and it’s going to kick your ass so hard. Until you can’t take it anymore. It’s not for the weak and meek. There’s no hand out or a booklet to tell you the short cuts.                                                                                     I just hope by the time I’m 40 (Gulp!). Everything would have fallen into place and I don’t have to feel sorry for myself or write about how shitty life is. Once I wanted to be the greatest, but not anymore. Somehow that mentality I had, when I was 21 seems archaic. All I really want is to just be happy. With myself and with the life I’ve got….that’s all!

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